While still in school to be a pediatric nurse, Children’s House of Washington (CHOW) Director Monica Brewer came across a puzzle she just couldn’t figure out. At the time she had just taken a job as a Montessori classroom assistant to help offset the cost of school, and every day she was drawn to the challenge of the Montessori binomial cube, a 3-D puzzle consisting of 8 wooden blocks that when assembled represent the algebraic equation (a + b)^3.

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“You have to manipulate it to put it back to form the cube that fits inside the box, and I couldn’t get it,” said Brewer. “And it was driving me crazy.”

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Eventually she did figure it out. All it took was the help of a 4 year old.

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“He would come over everyday and say, Ms. Brew, do you need help? And I would say yes, so I became the student and he was the teacher teaching me how to put the cube back together.”

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At first, Brewer had difficulty with the fact that she needed a 4-year old to show her how to do a puzzle. 

“In my head I’m saying, this is not right because why is this child teaching me how to do a piece of work?”

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Ultimately though, the experience taught her more than how to put together a binomial cube.

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“We are taught that we know everything and we should know all the answers to everything,” said Brewer. “We don’t. If I could humble myself to a child to show me something that in itself was difficult for me to learn, but it was easy enough for him to teach me, this is the space I needed to be in.”

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This and other moments during her time as a Montessori assistant started a shift in her path from pediatric nursing to early childhood education.  

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“The pull became stronger in the classroom than as a pediatric nurse,” said Brewer. “I’m not saying that being a pediatric nurse wasn't going to be fulfilling or helpful to children, but being in that classroom and being a part of that dynamic was far more impactful.”

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One piece of the dynamic Brewer wanted to be part of was the Montessori curriculum itself.

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“This Montessori classroom was different than [what] I had in my early childhood education,” said Brewer. “Montessori  is a form of education that touches on everything. It helps children focus. It promotes independence. The materials in the classroom are self-directed. The children are self-guided.”

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The other piece of the dynamic Brewer wanted to be part of were the children themselves.

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“I’ve always known I wanted to work with primary children,” said Brewer. “It was just nice to walk into a space and they’re genuinely happy to see you. It kind of took me back to how this teacher made me feel like she was happy to see me. They were happy to see me and I was happy to see them.”

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The teacher in question was Monica’s fourth grade teacher. As a child, Brewer was a self-described “wallflower” who struggled to speak up for herself. So when her fourth grade teacher noticed her, that left an impact.

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“My fourth grade teacher paid attention to me and gave me something,” said Brewer. “I gleaned off that and I kind of held onto that because she was so good and kind and sweet to me. It made an imprint on me.”

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Besides helping her feel noticed, Brewer’s fourth grade teacher also planted the seed for Brewer’s teaching philosophy.

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“I took what that fourth grade teacher gave to me, and I kind of led with that,” said Brewer. “ I lead with that feeling of all children are important because she made me feel as if I was important enough to take time out to speak with. To help me and guide me.”

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Guidance has played an important part of Brewer’s ECE journey.  Colleagues at her first Montessori school encouraged her pivot from pediatric nursing to early childhood education. When she joined CHOW to move from being an assistant to a co-teacher, she was able to teach with and learn directly from CHOW’s then director for 15 years. And when her director retired and Brewer stepped into the role, seeking mentorship and therapy was fundamental in building her leadership mentality, even if accepting help wasn’t easy.

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“I jumped from being a teacher to being a director, and the learning curve was very sharp,” said Brewer. “I felt like I had jumped off a cliff, a high cliff, and I can’t swim. So I was a fish out of water.

I had to put aside [my] feelings of inadequacy in order to remain the best teacher I can be in the classroom and remain the face of the school. Having a mentor and going through therapy helped me understand that everybody goes through this at some point, and I am no different in seeking help.”

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One of the challenges Brewer faced and overcame was learning how to navigate implicit biases that came with being CHOW’s first black woman director.

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“The former owner is a white woman, so it was easy to kind of be part of a team. And when you’re a team like that, generally people only see the person they deemed to be in charge,” said Brewer. “When I took over and we invited families into the school to observe, it’s not that there was something that was said, it’s always implicit or unspoken biases that may happen. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that I haven’t felt the sting of maybe they see me and this is not where they want to be.”

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Always leading with positivity, Brewer hasn’t let instances like these affect her work. When necessary, she’s been willing to lead by letting families go.

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“One particular family that had enrolled in the school came from out of the country, so we were basically sight unseen,” said Brewer. “When they got here, it became apparent that this is not the space they wanted it to be. 

Eventually I said this is not going to be, this is not beneficial to me and it’s not beneficial to you. I released them out of their contract with the school because what I didn’t want was this energy floating around the school because of how [they] may deem me to be or teaching [their] children.”

After years of experience at CHOW and making difficult choices, Brewer has gotten to a place where she is confident in her role as a director. 

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“Getting a mentor, having therapy, and being happy from my journey has made me much, much stronger in how I am effectively moving in [my] environment and [my] space,” said Brewer. “I’m not saying that it still doesn’t come without its challenges of course, and I still [have] doubts of where I am. But I am less doubtful of what it is I know and what I do.”

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One thing Brewer has no doubt on is her commitment to centering the experience of the children who come through her school around love.

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“I think we as educators have to stop and take note of our own issues because we bring that into the classroom more often than not,” said Brewer. “If we stop at the door and leave whatever is behind us and know that we’re coming in for the love of giving, the love of guiding, and the love of teaching, our students would then take that energy and move it into their next phase of life.”